When something goes wrong, there is tendency to blame the 'person'. The 'person' here would be self or the other. When the blame is more often on the self, it results in 'self blame'/'self criticism' and feeling low about the self. When the blame is more often on the other/circumstance, it results in 'lack of responsibility'/'self righteous'.
Its a heavy feeling to blame/beat ourselves. And so is also being righteous. Though, on the surface we make ourselves to be righteous, feeling that something has gone wrong because of me is also unbearable.
When an incident happens, there are 3 parameters which get involved in it: self, others and the circumstance. The outcome has to be measured in 3 angles: what was my participation in it, what was other's participation in it and what is circumstance's participation in it(context).
Looking in this way, with 3 lenses helps to assess the situation objectively. The 'self blame' / 'self righteous' pattern reduces. This in turn helps to learn from what's happened.
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