Often in people's conversations, apart from the core content, there are many other sentence that are talked, but they don't carry any value. Have a look at these:
1. What I want to check with you is...
2. I just want to confirm this with you...
3. I want to tell you something...
What do they serve? They almost come automatically, particularly in hierarchy relations or when the person(who is saying) is scared of 'coming to the point'. Notice in a close relationship and these fillers are less. One directly "checks" with a close friend and doesn't say..."What I want to check with you is...".
The mere fact of seeing these sentences hints at the presence of the 'fear' in the air, for the one(talker) of the other(to whom he is talking to). This trait can be used in building a good relationship by:
1. Understanding the essence of the communication.
2. Understanding whats the fear underneath that's bothering the other.
On the other hand, to make your communication with good impact - make sentences straight to the point, instead of having many fillers. This would automatically set the context straight, to the point talk and makes you a good communicator. Again, this impact on the other person will be without awareness and consciousness(unless, of course, he is also reading this article or knows about the sentence fillers :) ).
Of course, these are not the sentences which are formed consciously, with awareness. The 'fear' may not be anything specific. It may be in general about the hierarchical relationship. This will serve a manager to become a leader, a parent to understand his child and in general to be empathetic to someone, who is coming from a 'fear' space! It also takes ethics to not use such skills for personal advantage, particularly in work environment.
Happy conversing!! :)
